15+ Questions to Ask A Surrogacy Agency
A surrogacy agency’s website isn’t going to tell you they’re unethical. That would be bad for business. They’re going to tell you what they want you to know. If you’re reading this, I’m going to assume you are starting the surrogacy process and you want to do it with compassion and high ethics.
Ethical surrogacy has been defined by the International Federation of Gynaecology and Obstetrics (FIGO) and the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) as being voluntary with full consent from the surrogate, with bodily autonomy including on medical decisions maintained throughout. Gestational surrogacy is also now the standard for surrogacy, instead of traditional surrogacy, because the surrogate has no genetic link to the child.
However, surrogacy and surrogacy agencies are unregulated at a federal level in the United States and, instead, each state establishes their own set of unique laws for surrogacy. This means that it is on you, as the intended parent or parents, to research each potential agency to determine if it meets or exceeds the standards. Separating a good agency from a bad one isn’t just going off vibes. It’s in asking them about their practices to these questions.
Step one when looking for the right surrogacy agency is to search for ones in your areas that have good reviews and accept the kinds of families that you’re comfortable with. Establish your own set of ideal criteria before you start the search. Then, reach out to each agency and ask them the following questions.
How long has the agency been in business? Has it always been in business under the same name?
Can you speak directly to past surrogates and intended parents, without a representative from the agency present?
Is the agency part of ASRM or SEEDS (Society for Ethics in Egg Donation and Surrogacy)? This shows they have some desire to abide by a code of ethics outside of their agency.
Do surrogate parents and intended parents have separate caseworkers?
What is the average timeline to a match?
How long does the average match take?
What is the average timeline from match to delivery?
How does the agency source potential surrogates?
What is the acceptance rate for potential surrogates?
What does the medical and background screening process look like for potential surrogates?
How do they do their matching process?
What state’s law will govern the surrogate agreement?
Do surrogates and intended parents have separate and independent legal counsel?
Does the lawyer specialize in reproductive surrogacy law (not general practice)?
At what point is a pre-birth parentage established and how is it established? This varies by state.
Where do funds go? Where is the escrow?
What happens to funds if there’s a failed transfer, multiples, or medical complications?
What does payment look like for the surrogate? What can a surrogate be reimbursed for? How does the surrogate get paid?
What mental health support is offered for the surrogate?
What support do they offer for surrogates and intended parents after birth?
There’s not a single, perfect, “right” answer to these questions and no single answer should end the conversation. But there are a few red flags to watch for:
No one should guarantee anything. There should be no promises of a placement, a timeline, or a guarantee that everything will work out.
You shouldn’t feel pressure to sign with an agency quickly, take a match quickly, or pay large amounts of money upfront.
An agency that won’t connect with you past families it has served. They should be proud to stand by their work.
It’s important to ask these questions and work with an agency with high standards because the decision of who you use will change and shape not only your life, but also your child’s life. It’s a lot easier to ask these questions in advance. You’ll know the agencies that see you as family to support or the ones who see you as a transaction to close. Take your time and ask the questions in advance.